Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Coffee must hate cups

I have a theory.  Here it is.  Brace yourself, cause this is big.

Coffee hates cups.

Seriously.  I believe it can't stand the thought of being confined into this small cardboard/plastic/metal/ceramic container.  Like Freddy Mercury, coffee just wants "to break free".

I mean, why else would it be spilled more than any other beverage I have ever seen?

While I don't imbibe alcohol, I have been to concerts and sporting events at which alcohol was being freely sold and consumed.  Sure, there were some spills.  But nothing like freaking coffee.  And heck, at least those people had the excuse that they may have been a few drinks in and were carrying their beverages amidst large crowds.

No, I don't drink coffee either, so I may not fully understand this phenomenon.  I am, however, surrounded by regular coffee drinkers.  Like every day, many times a day.  Such is medicine, right?  Every day I see someone with fresh coffee stains on their white coat.  Every day I see spilled coffee in puddles on the floor, or stains on the carpet.  I see my colleagues reaching for the paper towel to wipe the coffee off their hands before it gets on their clothes.

I am a water drinker.  Sometimes I will also have a glass of milk.  But I don't usually spill those beverages on me.  Sure, everyone has the rare spill, but nothing like I see with coffee.  Is it because it is hot?  Is it a secret coffee drinker only sign?  Is a ritualistic?  Does it make the coffee taste better?

There has to be some explanation, because otherwise, I just don't get it.


  1. Did somebody spill coffee on you today?

  2. hee hee hee...

    I enjoyed this one. :D

  3. Heh, no babe, no one spilled on me today. But I did sit there in conference this morning watching people lick spilled coffee off their fingers and such. Weird. That just doesn't happen with water.

  4. After reading this I immediately realized I haven't been making enough Freddy Mercury references in my posts. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Also, after attending numerous concerts and basketball games over the last few years, one of the most startling and amusing inconsistencies I've noticed is that when you get pop, you get a lid, and when you get beer, you don't. Kind of seems like it should be the other way around.

  5. I can help you with your query. The reason coffee spills so much is thus: Coffee is a frustrated artist and as such it is always trying to leave it's painterly (it thinks) mark on whatever it can. Not only does it leave spills on white coats, but if you leave the cup on an envelope it will perspire its way through the container or non-container, as it were, and leaves subtle rings. Well, I've got news for coffee and you, water is a much better artist. If you and coffee don't believe me, just check out my blog link at Depingo Ergo Sum and see:
    Like your blog very much. Was on a scholarly mission to find the medical term for funny bone and was directed here. Paint on, Depingo