Friday, December 02, 2011

It's official, I don't know anything

Look, I try to be pretty honest with myself.

I like to think that, sure, I'm not cool.  But I'm not actively uncool.  Right?  And while I don't know what it is like to be a tweenager, I have some idea, some point of reference.

But this morning I was reminded that I just don't know anything.

Our oldest gets up early so she has time to practice her clarinet before leaving for school.  The plan is, up at 5:45, practice for 15 minutes (four times a week, to get the required 60 in), then come upstairs and get ready for school.

So this morning, she comes stumbling out of her room at about 5:51.  Heads downstairs.  I hear the clarinet doing some scales at about 5:57.  At 6:03 she is upstairs.  So I casually throw out a simple question.

"How long did you practice?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"But you weren't downstairs for 15 minutes."

"It was 15 minutes, I have a timer!"

"Um, you haven't even been out of your room for 15 minutes.  It is therefore impossible to have practiced for 15 minutes.  I have been awake the entire time and know exactly how long you have been up.  It isn't possible for you to have practiced for 15 minutes."

Scowl.

But no admission that I may have, just on the off chance, been right.  Gosh I love being a moron.